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inkpawprintsIn what is possibly the shortest chapter of this epic, and the fastest I've ever done an ND chapter from blank page to end(!!)
Nukume Dori
Annex VII: Firelight
The ski lodge lounge was emptying now as the students of various schools – Hokuto had counted four groups here including hers – unwound into yawns after a long day on the slopes. Dinner was long done, the teachers were off-duty until lights out, and although many people had stayed to hang out with friends such was the day's exertions that most seemed to be happy to start preparing for bed. Hokuto had held court for a while with her group of female classmates as they gossiped comparing skiing skills and ski instructors, but was happy to let them go off in twos and threes until she was left curled up in an armchair by the fire. Not alone, not completely, there were a handful of other people still around either reading or talking quietly, but other than that Hokuto had her own space and that was fine by her. Much as Hokuto liked people she did like a bit of solitude now and then, even if it did leave her with her own thoughts.
Those thoughts were, invariably, reaching towards Tokyo. She had called Subaru last night to ask how things were going, which was apparently well: he told her about the jobs he had done (yes, he was taking care not to exert himself), how he was eating (regularly and healthily, mostly), and of course, about Seishirou. The way Subaru told it Seishirou was taking him out for dinner every night – and no more than dinner, Subaru had been quick to say. Inwardly Hokuto had been relieved to hear that, but as a sister it was her duty to tease so that's what she had done, at least a little. Guest phones weren't private and Hokuto's school-friends were already curious enough about her twin brother without knowing that he was taken by an older man. Taken in the relationship sense, not the other sense. Not yet. In a way, Hokuto could still pretend that Subaru was still completely hers.
She wouldn't do that. Yes, there was still that instinctive jealousy stirring but it was tired, worn out, even. After two days of Hokkaido and intense exercise Hokuto could now smile wryly at her feelings knowing that they were beginning to resolve. A break, that's what she had needed, a break and some space to settle things within herself so that when she got back they could all move on—
"Excuse me, is this seat taken?"
Hokuto looked up. A boy about her age, maybe a bit older, was looking questioningly down her and pointing at the other armchair. "Nope, it's free so go ahead," she said, smiling and welcoming the distraction. "If you're looking for a place to relax you've picked the right place."
"Thank you."
With a sigh that spoke of aching limbs the boy folded himself into the other chair and closed his eyes. He was lean with pale hair that fell over one eye catching the firelight, and he wore the winter sports jacket of one of the other schools. Hokuto thought she had seen him on the slopes falling down a lot and picking himself up every time. "Sore?" she asked sympathetically.
"... Yeah. In a good way, though."
The way he spoke was quiet in a way that could be taken as shyness, but compared to Subaru Hokuto was more inclined to think the boy was the type who, like Shouhei, simply preferred the sidelines rather than the centre. Which was a pity since Hokuto's first fashion instinct was that he would look fantastic in slim cut trousers or jeans with a similarly cut long coat slit high at the back to accentuate height, all in darkest blue to show off that pale hair which could be highlighted with a cream turtleneck. Simple but striking, add some sunglasses to that highbrow face and she'd have people wondering if he was a movie star. "First time skiing?"
He glanced at her ruefully. "Is it that obvious?"
"I saw you on the beginners slope. Considering how many people headed to the cafe after their first few falls, you were doing pretty good."
"Is this your first time?"
"Yeah, but I've always been good with martial arts so I got the hang of things pretty quickly and my instructor sent me up with the intermediates. It's all balance and reflexes."
"That'd be my problem." The boy smiled tiredly. "I do some martial arts but whatever level I've achieved it's been only through long work, I don't have any inborn skill for sports."
"I'm sure you're being too hard on yourself."
"No, it's true. I practice enough that I don't make a fool of myself in bouts, but I'm almost always beaten by those with natural strength and talent. Which I'm fine with, I don't train to be the best."
"Why do you train then?" asked Hokuto curiously.
"I don't want to be weak. I was sickly as a child and stayed in bed a lot, and I didn't want to be like that so I made myself start doing things: running, jujitsu, kendo. I'll never be really good at any of them but I can hold my own. It's ... something I do just for me, so as sore as my body feels now, I'm glad for it because it tells me that I achieved something."
He sounded so quietly sure of himself, Hokuto found herself admiring that. That and feeling guilty, and she comically scowled. "You've just reminded me that I'm slacking off with my training. It's not that I've stopped it's just finding a regular time: after school I'm usually doing things like taking care of my brother, and getting up early in the morning when I'm comfy in bed is just blergh."
"I can't sleep in." The boy's smile was a little embarrassed. "I feel if I stay in bed too long I'm missing out on life."
"You don't sleep in even on weekends?"
"No."
"Not even if you're having a really good dream you want to keep going?"
The boy looked even more embarrassed now. "I don't dream much, and when I do I don't like it," he explained almost hesitantly. "It doesn't matter if it's a good dream or a nightmare it's just ... dreams aren't the same as real life, and I don't want to miss out on life."
Hokuto realised she may have pushed a bit far. "I see. I can understand why you'd think that, and I'm sorry if I made you feel you had to justify yourself. Actually I should just stop talking: you came here to enjoy the fire and here I am a stranger making you talk."
"Oh no, it's okay, I don't mind talking. You're interesting."
"Is that a euphemism for weird? Because I've had that before starting random conversations with people out of the blue."
"I think you're friendly. And brave. I can't talk with strangers like you do."
"You're talking to me and I'm a stranger."
The boy blinked. "Um, yes. But you're easy to talk to."
She flashed a smile at him. "Thank you! You're not so bad yourself."
He blushed, and Hokuto's smile lightened further - good to know that she could still do that to people even when tired and dressed in comfy (but still stylish) winter sports clothes instead her usual wardrobe. "You mentioned a brother before," the boy said, changing the subject. "You said you have to take care of him, is he younger than you?"
"He is, but only by a few minutes."
"You're twins?"
"Yup." Hokuto tilted her head striking a cute pose. "Identical. No parents, before you say sorry they died when we were babies, hence why I take care of him. He's not here, though."
"Is he sick?"
"Nah, just busy." Avoiding the subject of Subaru's work was easy for Hokuto, had been for years. "He's got stuff to do so he stayed back in Tokyo."
"Without you to take care of him? Is he going to survive?"
"He'll be fine, he's got someone else looking after him now." She made sure she said that flippantly, as if it didn't matter.
"Are you okay with that?"
...Or maybe she had been too flippant. Overcompensating. Crap. "Why wouldn't I be okay?" she replied lightly.
"It's just ... when you said that you seemed to be a bit on edge. I shouldn't pry, I'm sorry," the boy continued hastily as Hokuto's eyes narrowed, "it's none of my business and we can talk about something else--"
"No, you're right," sighed Hokuto, suddenly feeling tired. Like that one question are you okay was a gentle touch against a glass balancing act that only now did Hokuto realise was piled precariously high. She'd be damned if she just let things topple, but, instead of dismantling it on her own terms. "I'm not okay with that, and I'm not okay with the fact that I'm not okay. If that makes sense."
The boy didn't say anything. Hokuto curled up a little smaller. "My brother's started seeing someone. Has been for a while, but it's only recently that they've gotten serious. It's good and I'm happy for him, but there's also the feeling that he's no longer mine and even though I like the person he's seeing I'm jealous that someone's taking him from me. Which I know is immature, but I can't help it, and I'm annoyed that I can't help it. Stupid emotions."
"They're not stupid." The boy's voice was gentle. "They're your feelings and considering he's your twin, perfectly natural. The important thing is that you know not to let those feelings rule you - rather than immature you're actually being the complete opposite. I think it's amazing."
Hokuto blinked. "You think I'm being mature?"
"Definitely."
The quiet affirmation had the weight of gold, and it shone against all those other things Hokuto had tried to put away: Lady Sumeragi's admonitions to grow up, that bully's assumption that she was Subaru's little sister, her quiet fear that Subaru was leaving her behind. Hokuto found herself smiling shyly. "Thank you. I think I needed to hear that."
The boy blushed, only to look up as at the far end of the room someone came in and clapped to get attention. "CLAMP students, you've one hour until lights out," the teacher called. "We'll be doing a head count so please be in your rooms by then, anyone we catch out in the halls after that will be made to clean them. One hour, okay?"
The teacher left presumably to repeat the announcement elsewhere. Hokuto flashed the boy a wry smile. "That'd be me, and I still need to use the baths so I'd better go."
"All right." The boy looked disappointed.
"Is your group here for long?" asked Hokuto as she stood.
"We're here for the week and go back to Tokyo on Friday."
"Same as me! And you're in Tokyo as well? We should totally meet up for cake sometime, I know some great places. But I'll see you tomorrow on the snow, yes?"
There was an open smile on the boy's face. "Sure, if I'm not flat on my back again."
Hokuto laughed at that, just like her usual self. With a wave she made to go only to take two steps before the obvious hit her and she turned back. "I just realised we never introduced ourselves," she said ruefully. "We had this whole nice conversation going without even knowing each others names, so we'd better fix that otherwise it'll be really awkward tomorrow!" Clasping her hands together Hokuto bowed to the boy with a twinkling smile. "Sumeragi Hokuto, and I'm very pleased to meet you!"
Formally the boy stood from the armchair; he was taller than Hokuto, and with the fire at his back his pale hair seemed like a halo. "Kizuki Kakyou," he warmly said, bowing. "I'm pleased to meet you too."
~tbc in chapter 19~
Nukume Dori
Annex VII: Firelight
The ski lodge lounge was emptying now as the students of various schools – Hokuto had counted four groups here including hers – unwound into yawns after a long day on the slopes. Dinner was long done, the teachers were off-duty until lights out, and although many people had stayed to hang out with friends such was the day's exertions that most seemed to be happy to start preparing for bed. Hokuto had held court for a while with her group of female classmates as they gossiped comparing skiing skills and ski instructors, but was happy to let them go off in twos and threes until she was left curled up in an armchair by the fire. Not alone, not completely, there were a handful of other people still around either reading or talking quietly, but other than that Hokuto had her own space and that was fine by her. Much as Hokuto liked people she did like a bit of solitude now and then, even if it did leave her with her own thoughts.
Those thoughts were, invariably, reaching towards Tokyo. She had called Subaru last night to ask how things were going, which was apparently well: he told her about the jobs he had done (yes, he was taking care not to exert himself), how he was eating (regularly and healthily, mostly), and of course, about Seishirou. The way Subaru told it Seishirou was taking him out for dinner every night – and no more than dinner, Subaru had been quick to say. Inwardly Hokuto had been relieved to hear that, but as a sister it was her duty to tease so that's what she had done, at least a little. Guest phones weren't private and Hokuto's school-friends were already curious enough about her twin brother without knowing that he was taken by an older man. Taken in the relationship sense, not the other sense. Not yet. In a way, Hokuto could still pretend that Subaru was still completely hers.
She wouldn't do that. Yes, there was still that instinctive jealousy stirring but it was tired, worn out, even. After two days of Hokkaido and intense exercise Hokuto could now smile wryly at her feelings knowing that they were beginning to resolve. A break, that's what she had needed, a break and some space to settle things within herself so that when she got back they could all move on—
"Excuse me, is this seat taken?"
Hokuto looked up. A boy about her age, maybe a bit older, was looking questioningly down her and pointing at the other armchair. "Nope, it's free so go ahead," she said, smiling and welcoming the distraction. "If you're looking for a place to relax you've picked the right place."
"Thank you."
With a sigh that spoke of aching limbs the boy folded himself into the other chair and closed his eyes. He was lean with pale hair that fell over one eye catching the firelight, and he wore the winter sports jacket of one of the other schools. Hokuto thought she had seen him on the slopes falling down a lot and picking himself up every time. "Sore?" she asked sympathetically.
"... Yeah. In a good way, though."
The way he spoke was quiet in a way that could be taken as shyness, but compared to Subaru Hokuto was more inclined to think the boy was the type who, like Shouhei, simply preferred the sidelines rather than the centre. Which was a pity since Hokuto's first fashion instinct was that he would look fantastic in slim cut trousers or jeans with a similarly cut long coat slit high at the back to accentuate height, all in darkest blue to show off that pale hair which could be highlighted with a cream turtleneck. Simple but striking, add some sunglasses to that highbrow face and she'd have people wondering if he was a movie star. "First time skiing?"
He glanced at her ruefully. "Is it that obvious?"
"I saw you on the beginners slope. Considering how many people headed to the cafe after their first few falls, you were doing pretty good."
"Is this your first time?"
"Yeah, but I've always been good with martial arts so I got the hang of things pretty quickly and my instructor sent me up with the intermediates. It's all balance and reflexes."
"That'd be my problem." The boy smiled tiredly. "I do some martial arts but whatever level I've achieved it's been only through long work, I don't have any inborn skill for sports."
"I'm sure you're being too hard on yourself."
"No, it's true. I practice enough that I don't make a fool of myself in bouts, but I'm almost always beaten by those with natural strength and talent. Which I'm fine with, I don't train to be the best."
"Why do you train then?" asked Hokuto curiously.
"I don't want to be weak. I was sickly as a child and stayed in bed a lot, and I didn't want to be like that so I made myself start doing things: running, jujitsu, kendo. I'll never be really good at any of them but I can hold my own. It's ... something I do just for me, so as sore as my body feels now, I'm glad for it because it tells me that I achieved something."
He sounded so quietly sure of himself, Hokuto found herself admiring that. That and feeling guilty, and she comically scowled. "You've just reminded me that I'm slacking off with my training. It's not that I've stopped it's just finding a regular time: after school I'm usually doing things like taking care of my brother, and getting up early in the morning when I'm comfy in bed is just blergh."
"I can't sleep in." The boy's smile was a little embarrassed. "I feel if I stay in bed too long I'm missing out on life."
"You don't sleep in even on weekends?"
"No."
"Not even if you're having a really good dream you want to keep going?"
The boy looked even more embarrassed now. "I don't dream much, and when I do I don't like it," he explained almost hesitantly. "It doesn't matter if it's a good dream or a nightmare it's just ... dreams aren't the same as real life, and I don't want to miss out on life."
Hokuto realised she may have pushed a bit far. "I see. I can understand why you'd think that, and I'm sorry if I made you feel you had to justify yourself. Actually I should just stop talking: you came here to enjoy the fire and here I am a stranger making you talk."
"Oh no, it's okay, I don't mind talking. You're interesting."
"Is that a euphemism for weird? Because I've had that before starting random conversations with people out of the blue."
"I think you're friendly. And brave. I can't talk with strangers like you do."
"You're talking to me and I'm a stranger."
The boy blinked. "Um, yes. But you're easy to talk to."
She flashed a smile at him. "Thank you! You're not so bad yourself."
He blushed, and Hokuto's smile lightened further - good to know that she could still do that to people even when tired and dressed in comfy (but still stylish) winter sports clothes instead her usual wardrobe. "You mentioned a brother before," the boy said, changing the subject. "You said you have to take care of him, is he younger than you?"
"He is, but only by a few minutes."
"You're twins?"
"Yup." Hokuto tilted her head striking a cute pose. "Identical. No parents, before you say sorry they died when we were babies, hence why I take care of him. He's not here, though."
"Is he sick?"
"Nah, just busy." Avoiding the subject of Subaru's work was easy for Hokuto, had been for years. "He's got stuff to do so he stayed back in Tokyo."
"Without you to take care of him? Is he going to survive?"
"He'll be fine, he's got someone else looking after him now." She made sure she said that flippantly, as if it didn't matter.
"Are you okay with that?"
...Or maybe she had been too flippant. Overcompensating. Crap. "Why wouldn't I be okay?" she replied lightly.
"It's just ... when you said that you seemed to be a bit on edge. I shouldn't pry, I'm sorry," the boy continued hastily as Hokuto's eyes narrowed, "it's none of my business and we can talk about something else--"
"No, you're right," sighed Hokuto, suddenly feeling tired. Like that one question are you okay was a gentle touch against a glass balancing act that only now did Hokuto realise was piled precariously high. She'd be damned if she just let things topple, but, instead of dismantling it on her own terms. "I'm not okay with that, and I'm not okay with the fact that I'm not okay. If that makes sense."
The boy didn't say anything. Hokuto curled up a little smaller. "My brother's started seeing someone. Has been for a while, but it's only recently that they've gotten serious. It's good and I'm happy for him, but there's also the feeling that he's no longer mine and even though I like the person he's seeing I'm jealous that someone's taking him from me. Which I know is immature, but I can't help it, and I'm annoyed that I can't help it. Stupid emotions."
"They're not stupid." The boy's voice was gentle. "They're your feelings and considering he's your twin, perfectly natural. The important thing is that you know not to let those feelings rule you - rather than immature you're actually being the complete opposite. I think it's amazing."
Hokuto blinked. "You think I'm being mature?"
"Definitely."
The quiet affirmation had the weight of gold, and it shone against all those other things Hokuto had tried to put away: Lady Sumeragi's admonitions to grow up, that bully's assumption that she was Subaru's little sister, her quiet fear that Subaru was leaving her behind. Hokuto found herself smiling shyly. "Thank you. I think I needed to hear that."
The boy blushed, only to look up as at the far end of the room someone came in and clapped to get attention. "CLAMP students, you've one hour until lights out," the teacher called. "We'll be doing a head count so please be in your rooms by then, anyone we catch out in the halls after that will be made to clean them. One hour, okay?"
The teacher left presumably to repeat the announcement elsewhere. Hokuto flashed the boy a wry smile. "That'd be me, and I still need to use the baths so I'd better go."
"All right." The boy looked disappointed.
"Is your group here for long?" asked Hokuto as she stood.
"We're here for the week and go back to Tokyo on Friday."
"Same as me! And you're in Tokyo as well? We should totally meet up for cake sometime, I know some great places. But I'll see you tomorrow on the snow, yes?"
There was an open smile on the boy's face. "Sure, if I'm not flat on my back again."
Hokuto laughed at that, just like her usual self. With a wave she made to go only to take two steps before the obvious hit her and she turned back. "I just realised we never introduced ourselves," she said ruefully. "We had this whole nice conversation going without even knowing each others names, so we'd better fix that otherwise it'll be really awkward tomorrow!" Clasping her hands together Hokuto bowed to the boy with a twinkling smile. "Sumeragi Hokuto, and I'm very pleased to meet you!"
Formally the boy stood from the armchair; he was taller than Hokuto, and with the fire at his back his pale hair seemed like a halo. "Kizuki Kakyou," he warmly said, bowing. "I'm pleased to meet you too."
~tbc in chapter 19~